In the journey towards finding myself...
The cacophony of the voices inside me, struggling to say out what they want to say is taking over my peace of mind and my sense of self. These voices, all equally intense, have their personal views and beliefs, many a times contradicting each other.
I believe that every person has more than one or two sides to themselves. There isn’t one fixed definition to a person. There isn’t one fixed way a person behaves. There are just inclinations. People tend to behave in a certain way either because of conditioning by the society and their surroundings, or because they have got accustomed to doing so. There are many different personalities living within one body. As per my observation and conclusion, people just focus on the one part which they have been focusing on all their life, that they start believing that that is their ‘real self’. Or they take the part of them that gives them a feel-good factor at most situations and tag it as their ‘real self’. Thus, they ignore the many other dimensions to their personality.
There are many confused people around me, who do not know who they are and what they want. Well, I too am among one of them. But in a very different way. There is a state of effortless confusion and then there is attained confusion. Whereas most people are confused in the first manner, the latter one is the state I am in.
Pondering over who I am and what all lies within me has made me see the various choices/parts to myself. There is the dedicated student, the understanding mother, the naive child, the wise mystic, the rebel, the hopeless romantic, to name a few.
Within each such easily distinguishable part lies more parts. And that is when things get complicated. I have tried not to push off any part by labeling them as good or bad, so that I can make an unbiased conclusion to who I really am. That is if, after all, there is just one definite real me. But by doing so, I am in a very chaotic state of being. Yet somehow, I find this confusion delightful. Knowing that I chose it, that I am the reason for it, and that I am gradually finding my path keeps me from giving it all up.
I believe that every person has more than one or two sides to themselves. There isn’t one fixed definition to a person. There isn’t one fixed way a person behaves. There are just inclinations. People tend to behave in a certain way either because of conditioning by the society and their surroundings, or because they have got accustomed to doing so. There are many different personalities living within one body. As per my observation and conclusion, people just focus on the one part which they have been focusing on all their life, that they start believing that that is their ‘real self’. Or they take the part of them that gives them a feel-good factor at most situations and tag it as their ‘real self’. Thus, they ignore the many other dimensions to their personality.
There are many confused people around me, who do not know who they are and what they want. Well, I too am among one of them. But in a very different way. There is a state of effortless confusion and then there is attained confusion. Whereas most people are confused in the first manner, the latter one is the state I am in.
Pondering over who I am and what all lies within me has made me see the various choices/parts to myself. There is the dedicated student, the understanding mother, the naive child, the wise mystic, the rebel, the hopeless romantic, to name a few.
Within each such easily distinguishable part lies more parts. And that is when things get complicated. I have tried not to push off any part by labeling them as good or bad, so that I can make an unbiased conclusion to who I really am. That is if, after all, there is just one definite real me. But by doing so, I am in a very chaotic state of being. Yet somehow, I find this confusion delightful. Knowing that I chose it, that I am the reason for it, and that I am gradually finding my path keeps me from giving it all up.
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